May Each Tomorrow Find Us Better then Today
>> Saturday, May 12, 2012
FYI; this post might be kinda whine-y.
This is what I feel like today......
Jer 20:18
Wherefore came I forth out of the womb to see labor and sorrow, that my days should be consumed with shame?
I feel like my days are consumed with shame. Shame that I am not able to be what I think I should be. Shame that OTHERS think I am not what I should be. Shame that I am so tied up on my own troubles I do not devote attention to my children as I should.
My husband and I have very conservative Biblical views (I do not want to debate those here). We believe that a woman should stay home and care for her children. It is the only thing I am "allowed" to do. It is what I always thought I wanted to do. But it is the one thing I seem *unable* to do. And therefore more shame.
Ideally, I would be able to use my home to include other activities in my home, but My♥Love doesn't like having people in the home and the house isn't presentable by anyone's standards. More shame.
So I have spent the morning crying. And praying. And reading my Bible. Looking or answers.
Jer 1:5
Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee, and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee; I have appointed thee...
Ahh, sorry, Lord, it REALLY doesn't feel like that. I think I'll go cry some more now...
Done whining. ;-)
About an hour later....
However, I am no quitter. I will pull myself up by my (Rhine-stone encrusted) bootstraps and face the day like a man, er, a woman!
And pray... fervently... that tomorrow finds me better than today.
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2 comments:
praying for you. I don't know how or what to pray for you but I know God knows what you need.
Thanks for your prayers Thea.
I have been struggling greatly with my life... the choices I have made, my short comings and inclinations, etc. I realized this weekend that I was allowing my life to run me rather than the other way around.
I am purposing to be more intentional about my life-choices. I will have to be very judicious about how I make changes tho.... last night I spoke a bit too harshly when I expressed my disproval of something My♥Love said. He was not very happy.
I struggle with tact, timing and being too emotionally charged.But I choose to believe God had a purpose for creating me. I am trusting Him to help me fulfill that purpose.
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