HASHIMOTO'S-- the "unofficial" symptom list

>> Thursday, November 1, 2012

What I wish I'd been told when I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's



When I was diagnosed with Hashimotos I wish that the doctor had taken some time to explain to me exactly what having this disorder would mean.... that in essence my life as I knew it would change forever...that it was an autoimmune disease (and what an autoimmune disease is)...that it would be a lifelong illness...that it would go hand-in-hand with other disorders (and some autoimmune diseases) which would complicate efforts to treat the thyroid (such as psoriasis, diabetes, irritable bowel, polycystic ovarian disorder, gluten intolerance and other food allergies, adrenal fatigue, ADHD, anxiety, and candida). The blood tests seem, for me, to be useless. I have regularly been so sick I cannot function, yet still had the bloodwork turn out in the "normal" range. The best thyroid doctor in my area threw up his hands and didn't know what else to do for me. I have not found a list ANYWHERE that can do justice to the amount of chaos this disorder had caused in my life

This is the "unofficial" symptom list. This is how it is affecting my daily life. I am slowly getting getting better.

--Some days I am so weak I can barely walk; on really bad days I cannot stand.

--I get random hot and cold sweats, usually combined with dizziness... even when I am on a supplement

--I cannot take synthetic supplements, my body doesn't accept it. What I do get is all the side effects. Joy.

--Despite the fact that I have an IQ over 140, some days I cannot think with enough clarity to boil an egg... things you normally wouldn't have to think through, like which pan to use (you'd instinctively grab the right one), where the fridge is located in the house, where the eggs are in the fridge, etc. Things I normally know instinctively I cannot remember. I actually had one day when I wasn't sure if I was supposed to stop on the red light or the orange. I simply couldn't remember. Imagine trying to run a house, homeschool, and pay bills like this.

--I have so much trouble sleeping that I am bordering on sleep deprivation. All it takes is one night of not enough sleep and I am like a completely different person.

--Because Hashimoto's causes thickening of the skin and tissues, I had to have carpal tunnel surgery on both my hands when I was 31. The surgeon told me he had no idea why my hands were so bad. His words were something like "Worse than the 90 year old ladies I treat." Now I know... thickening of the tissue due to the Hashimotos. I was nearly diagnosed with diabetes because of numbness in my feet and stiffness in my ankles. Same issue. Thickening of the tissue. Oh, and when I had my surgery, they had to poke me 8 times before the I.V. would lace. My blood vessels are also very tough-- all the cause of this disorder.

--My house looks like an episode of Hoarders. That is an exaggeration to make a point. It is getting better, but I cannot manage my families things because I cannot think clearly. To add to the trouble, since I have so low energy, when I have a burst of energy, I tend to go "stock up" on what I think I will need. The thinking is that then I will have it when I need it. However, by the time I get home from my stock run, I am so wiped out I cannot think clearly enough, nor do I have the energy left, to organize and put away items. The result it half finished projects and piles of supplies.

--I almost had my children take away from me because of the condition of my house. I do not choose to live like this. I am just so sick. I am doing the best I can-- cross my heart and hope to die. I am seeking treatment from an alternative medicine doctor and am improving! I am feeling better than I have in nearly 8 years, but it is a slow process. Because of the above listed symptoms, I am not able to manage my home very well. If I cannot remember when I keep the silverware, how am I supposed to remember to tell my son to put his coat away?

--On the days I am feeling better, I get REALLY angry. Angry at life. Angry at God. Angry at doctors. Angry at my husband for not doing more. Angry at my kids for being disorganized kids (but I haven't really been able to train them to be otherwise). But mostly angry at myself for being such a bad wife and mother (that is what the "voice" in my head tells me), for not doing better, for not living up to expectations.

--I am jealous of those who are able to see what they want and go get it. I remember being like that. It was a long time ago. But I still remember.

--I have continually been misjudged. When I first started seeking treatment, I was told by a pastor and his wife that what I needed was to read the Bible more. Now I am not saying that the Bible ISN'T a good idea. But you don't treat a broken arm with a Bible verse. It may comfort a person who has a broken arm, but generally it doesn't make the broken arm go away. Because of the condition of the house, I have been judged as less than a good godly woman. Even by those I love dearly. I have nearly stopped having people over to the house. I don't have the energy to get it presentable, and don't have any desire to deal with the judgments of others. If I set a date and trust the adrenaline to work for me, I end up with adrenal fatigue. Last time that happened I slept for almost 5 days straight. I had someone close to me tell me that, if I could not find a way to take care of my children properly, they would take the children and care for the properly "for" me (a veiled hint at taking the children from me).

--I usually cannot schedule more than one thing in a day. If I have a doctor appointment, I cannot focus on homeschooling that day. My brain doesn't have the extra energy to multitask.
--I was surprised when my dr said that when one of her patience is diagnosed with Hashimotos, she has a meeting with the family and tells them that the family will either have to do the work that the diagnosed member has been doing or they will have to hire a maid (if it is the wife) or find an alternate means of income (if it is a "working" member). She said that, until the hashimotos is properly treated and under control (I am still trying to figure out what that means), the diagnosed person cannot be expected to perform any of their "normal" duties. That is yet another thing I wish someone had told me when I was diagnosed with Hashimotos. Would have saved me YEARS of heartache.

--I have ADHD, but sometimes wonder if it is actually just the Hashimotos....?


I will add more as I think of it. It helps me to write it out. Maybe this list will encourage others who find the "official" lists greatly lacking in content and clarity.


Blessings!

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Don’t Miss the Blessings

>> Friday, August 10, 2012


by Sarah Forbes

Sore and tired. Worn from continued sickness. Wearied by chronic illness. I awoke this morning with a clear recollection of what God had been trying to teach me. My heart knew. But I was not a willing pupil. He whispered again today, Don’t miss My blessings. Sitting here in pain. Crying. Listening to praise songs. Trying to encourage myself. Seeking to lift my own spirit. I hear my children. Happily at play. In harmony together. Pounding small rocks on the patio. To a rhythm. Singing joyfully. Contentedly. And again I hear The Voice, Don’t miss My blessings.


Overwhelmed. Indecisive. Feeling guilty about what I should be doing. Wondering what I possibly can do in such pain. Procrastinating because of my sinful self. I would rather wallow in self-pity and misery. Rather that, than showering and facing the day. Which might make me feel better. My sinful self doesn’t want to feel better. Conviction strikes me heart. And again I hear His voice, Don’t miss My blessings I rise. I choke on tears. I shower. I sing what my heart feels. I comfort myself with verses. Scriptures hid in my heart long ago. I see my children's smiling faces. I choose to focus on their smiles. The happy smiles of my children. I choose to laugh and joke. I choose to not see the unhappy things. I find strength to face my day. He is my strength.

It’s not long. Not long until I forget Him. Forget to rely on Him. Forget to focus on Him. I lose sight of who I am in Him. I stop looking at Him. Stop trusting in Him to be my strength. My flesh is weak. I am drawn away from Him.

Bored little boys in a checkout line. Waiting. Hungry. Annoying me. Little things that annoy easily. Requests. Repeated by excited children. I snap. I should have held my tongue. But I did not. My sinful heart says “Go away.” “Leave me alone.” “I have no more to give.” “I don’t WANT to give anymore.” “See me? I hurt. I bleed. I can’t give when I hurt so much.” And I remember my Lord. And I am ashamed. He bled. He gave. He gave all. He asks no less of me.
Getting dinner. Busy, impatient children. Spilling, toppling food. Messes. And more messes. On top of already-uncleaned messes. Anger. Boiling up inside me. “Why can’t I ever get it right?” “Why can't it be pretty?” “Why can’t it be perfect?” I know I am prideful. That’s what craves the perfection. It’s my sinful pride. And again I hear the Still Small Voice, Don’t miss My blessings. And I pray. My mind searches for the thanksgiving. For something to be thankful for. I remember from before... this could change my heart-attitude. Selfish anger fights against the joy that could be. All I must do is choose to be thankful. If I’d only choose to be thankful. And I pray some more. I hear the patient Voice still repeating, Don't miss My blessings. 


My family happily munches dinner. I close my eyes and I pray. I pray away my bitterness. Bitterness that life has not been what I wished it to be. What I planned it to be. Through my prayers, my heart chooses joy. I seek a renewing of my mind. A centering of myself in Christ. Things that before were irritation, transform. 

I find myself thankful. Thankful for the spills. Thankful that I have children to make spills. Thankful I have food to be spilled. Thankful I have eyes to see the spills. Hands to clean the spills. Thankful I have children with willing hearts ready to help tidy up messes. 

Thankful --even that I have sickness. Sickness to make my heart tender. Thankful that I have learned to give others understanding. Understanding and grace. I realise that the pain and sickness has changed me. It is still changing me. It is making me more like the One I Hold Most Dear. It is the crucible, the Refiner’s fire my Lord has chosen to purify me. And I have disdained it. Despised it. 

Not understanding, I let the anger, and the bitterness, keep me from seeing the blessings. Blessings poured out from Heaven. All around me. My heart sees no pain now-- only joy. And I hear a Voice, See. See My blessings.

Hebrews 12: 5-12 (NASB)
“...and you have forgotten the exhortation which is addressed to you as sons,

‘My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,
Nor faint when you are reproved by Him;
For those whom the Lord loves He disciplines,
And He scourges every son whom He receives.’

It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline? But if you are without discipline, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Furthermore, we had earthly fathers to discipline us, and we respected them; shall we not much rather be subject to the Father of spirits, and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good, so that we may share His holiness. All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.”


...my little blessings... 

NO COPYRIGHT. PLEASE PASS IT ON!
May the Lord use my struggles to bless others.
Sarah.beyondallmeasure@gmail.com
This is a cross-post from my other blog thepursuitofgodlywomanhood.blogpsot.com





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May Each Tomorrow Find Us Better then Today

>> Saturday, May 12, 2012




(FYI: this post might be kinda whiney)

This is what I feel like today......

Jer 20:18
Wherefore came I forth out of the womb to see labor and sorrow, that my days should be consumed with shame?


I feel like my days are consumed with shame. Shame that I am not able to be what I think I should be. Shame that OTHERS think I am not what I should be. Shame that I am so tied up on my own troubles I do not devote attention to my children as I should.

My husband and I have very conservative Biblical views (I do not want to debate those here). We believe that a woman should stay home and care for her children. It is the only thing I am "allowed" to do. It is what I always thought I wanted to do. But it is the one thing I seem *unable* to do. And therefore more shame.

Ideally, I would be able to use my home to include other activities in my home, but My♥Love doesn't like having people in the home and the house isn't presentable by anyone's standards. More shame.

So I have spent the morning crying. And praying. And reading my Bible. Looking or answers.

Jer 1:5
Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee, and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee; I have appointed thee...


Ahh, sorry, Lord, it REALLY doesn't feel like that. I think I'll go cry some more now...

Done whining. ;-)

About an hour later....

I am feeling a little less like a complete failure. Sometimes I just get so overwhelmed at the level of disorder in my life and wonder "How ON EARTH can God ever use ANY of THIS?!"

However, I am no quitter. I will pull myself up by my bootstraps and face the day like a man, er, a woman!

And pray... fervently... that tomorrow finds me better than today.

Edited 9/13/13
At the time of this post, I did not know that I was suffering from side effects of improperly treated Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. Complications of this illness have made "normal" life very challenging. 






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Why Tangled is TWISTED

>> Sunday, April 29, 2012

From the moment I saw the movie, something didn't sit right in my spirit. I tried to explain it, but despite my best efforts my explanations seemed to lack any power. I was pleased to find an article at Beautiful Womanhood about Disney's latest movie Tangled. The authors were able to put into words exactly what I desired to express.

Here is an excerpt from the article which is written as a letter to Aurora .


 "...although your situation is so different from ours (our parents generally are our biological parents, and they generally aren’t locking us up in towers), and your universe operates so differently from ours (none of us have magic hair), your struggles, feelings, and questions are just the same. “Tangled” tackles the biggest issues in a young woman’s life: relationships with parents, attitudes toward authority, relationships with young men, the outside world, the use of our time, and our bigger purpose in life. It raises the questions every young woman is asking. Then it gives the exact wrong answers."


I challenge you to read it if you have girls who are going to be tempted to follow their own  heart!  Remember what Proverbs says:  "He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool: but whoso walketh wisely, he shall be delivered. " (Proverbs 28:26  KJV) 




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Songs of Joy Sunday: Tears are a Language God Understands

>> Monday, April 16, 2012

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Songs of Joy Sunday- O Love That Will Not Let Me Go

>> Sunday, April 15, 2012

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Wayback Wednesday: Why I love to crochet

>> Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Why I love to craft, Part 1

My Grandmother,
Velma Singer
(1930-1993)
CROCHET
My mother taught me to crochet when I was 7. She is right handed; so teaching a lefty was a challenge for her. I am a visual learner so most of it I was able to flip around in my head and figure out from watching her. I do remember her trying to crochet left-handed to show me. I can only imagine how challenging that must have been. She was so sweet to try so hard to teach me. After that, I just started making stuff up. I remember looking through her crochet book at the more complicated stitches, but I never read the directions! Just made it up. Years later, I started trying to follow patterns and realized "Oh, that one I do is called a Triple Crochet,"  ect. I love crocheting for a lot of reasons, but one of those is that my Grandmother taught my mother and my mother taught me. I have even taught my boys. I love how it is multi-generational!
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Peaceful Marriage Tip: An Exercise for Finding Common Ground When Picking a House to Buy

>> Tuesday, April 10, 2012

How can couples with differing view points find a happy medium?

The first house my hubby and I bought was his style, but I HATED it. I mean H.A.T.E.D. it. When we chose to buy again, our realtor gave us a homework assignment before we ever went looking at houses. We were to each, separately, write a list of the items that we wanted in a house. Then prioritize them and write them out again in the prioritized order. After that was done, we were to bring our two list together to see what we had in common and what was most important to each person.

It helped so much! He was able to see that I really did want a house with some character. I was able to see that he really wanted low maintenance. We were able to find a happy medium by looking for a house older, but still in REALLY good shape.

Our home was built in the 1940s, but it is NOT a tract house. But it passed all the inspections and we have had to do very few repairs on it in 3 years. The changes we have made have been mostly upgrades like a  wider carport, moving the furnace from a closet into the attic, etc.

The downside to this is that we also ended up with a smaller and newer home than if we had been willing to do repairs on an older home, but I am wiling to make the sacrifice for a happy hubby and a happy me!

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Count Down to Easter: Was It a Morning Like This?

>> Sunday, April 8, 2012



See my Easter playlist at YouTube.

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Count Down to Easter: I know my Redeemer Lives

>> Saturday, April 7, 2012


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Count Down to Easter: He's Alive

>> Friday, April 6, 2012


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Count Down to Easter: How Deep The Fathers Love For Us

>> Thursday, April 5, 2012

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Count Down to Easter: Why

>> Wednesday, April 4, 2012

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Wayback Wednesday: Before there were text messages

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Count Down to Easter: Watch the Lamb

>> Tuesday, April 3, 2012

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Tutorial Tuesday: DIY Hair Fork

A while back I bought a plastic hair fork from my local grocery store. It worked fabulous.But at $5 each I wan't going to be buying many of them. Then it broke. I can even find one in a store. That's when I spotted this little sock hanger in the garbage! Necessity... Mother... Invention. You get it. 
copyright ©2012 Sarah Forbes
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Count Down to Easter: Via Dolorosa

>> Monday, April 2, 2012




 



 The two Spanish verses are actually translations of the first and third English verses.
Por la Via Dolorosa, triste dia en *Jerusalen*
DOWN THE VIA DOLOROSA, A SAD DAY IN JERUSALEM
Los soldados le abrian paso a Jesus
THE SOLDIERS MADE WAY FOR JESUS
Mas la gente se acercaba
BUT PEOPLE GATHERED 
Para ver al que llevaba aquella cruz
TO TAKE A CLOSER LOOK AT THE MAN CARRYING THE CROSS

Por la Via Dolorosa, que es la via del dolor
DOWN THE VIA DOLOROSA, WHICH IS THE WAY OF GRIEF
Como oveja vino Cristo, Rey, Senor
AS A LAMB CHRIST CAME, KING, LORD
Y fue El quien quiso ir por su amor por ti y por mi
AND IT WAS HIM WHO WANTED TO GO BECAUSE OF HIS LOVE FOR YOU AND FOR ME
Por la Via Dolorosa al Calvario y a morir
DOWN THE VIA DOLOROSA TO THE CALVARY AND TO DIE


click to learn more about the Via Delarosa

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Songs of Joy Sunday:I'll Never Let Go of Your Hand

>> Sunday, April 1, 2012




Don Francisco
I'll Never Let Go Of Your Hand 


I know what you've been hearing
I've seen you hide your fear
Embarrassed by your weaknesses
Afraid to let Me near
I wish you knew how much
I long for you to understand
No matter what may happen, child
I'll never let go of your hand

I know you've been forsaken
By all you've known before
When you failed their expectations
They frowned and closed the door
But even though your heart itself
Should lose the will to stand
No matter what may happen, child
I'll never let go of your hand

The life that I have given you
No one can take away
I've sealed it with my Spirit, Blood and Word
The everlasting Father
Has made His covenant with you
And He's stronger than the world you've seen and heard

So don't you fear to show them
All the love I have for you
I'll be with you everywhere
In everything you do
And even if you do it wrong
And miss the joy I've planned
I'll never, never let go of your hand

The life that I have given you
No one can take away
I've sealed it with my Spirit, Blood and Word
The everlasting Father
Has made His covenant with you
And He's stronger than the world you've seen and heard

So don't you fear to show them
All the love I have for you
I'll be with you everywhere
In everything you do
And even if you do it wrong
And miss the joy I've planned
I'll never, never let go of your hand
I'll never let go of your hand
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A Thousand Days of Praise

>> Saturday, March 31, 2012



So what do you do when you have given up on life? When you wake up one morning and say "Why am I doing this? Why do I keep fighting and struggling only to be beaten down by life again and again?"


Today was one of those days for me.

I would have rather crawl under a rock than face another day. But little voices called from the other room. Voices which I could not ignore for much longer. So I pulled myself up by my boot straps and faced another day.

Facing the day is rather an exaggeration.

I made an appearance. I fed my family cereal and wished they'ed all just leave me alone.

 That is when I stumbled upon this blog. I had read a few articles on the blog previously... about homeschooling and motherhood. But this article stopped me in my tracks. She described me exactly as I was today. Hopeless. Bitter.

Before long the flood gates of tears open wide and I had to answer the "Why are you crying Momma?" question. (I answered it in my usual way: "Girls cry a lot.") The author explains how her life was changed by the simple act of counting the gifts God had given her. Of teaching herself to be grateful by, day by day, recounting the blessings of God. The one statement in the article that stands out to me (I think I need to write in in Sharpie on my wall!) is “God doesn’t ask me to be perfect; He asks me to praise.”

I mean, I know that, don't I? I say something similar every time I read the catechism with my boys. We were made for God's glory, to glorify Him. But do I do it? Do I see that as my purpose in life? Maybe I wouldn't spend so much time fearing I had missed God's will for my life if I actually did what I know He created me for: praising Him. Maybe I'd be happier if I could focus on praising him, instead of focusing on all the ill in my life and all the ways I think I fall short of perfection.

So I began my list of 1000 gifts from God on my blog, The Pursuit of Godly Womanhood. Immediately, I could feel the change in my spirit. After all, I was made to praise Him.



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: Kid Quotes



"Momma, can I have this rocket-thing of yours?" "Umm, no...Sweety... that is my make up brush."


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Sings of Joy Sunday: He Knows My Name

>> Sunday, March 25, 2012


I have a Maker
He formed my heart
Before even time began
My life was in his hands 

He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
and He hears me when I call 
I have a Father
He calls me His own
He?ll never leave me
No matter where I go 

He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
and He hears me when I call

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All this is a result of my personal hard work. Do not take any of it and claim it as your own. Feel free to link and use my photos IF you give me credit. Please be honest. Any other use will need permission. Email me at (sarah.beyondallmeasure at gmail.com) to request permission for other uses.

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